It’s been a month of thermals and many layers. The snow was a lovely surprise for us and it looked very picturesque floating gently onto the roofs and garden spaces. Walks outside were a little hazardous at times with icy stretches of concrete, but the brisk air has been very cleansing. Even more so when there’s a blanket and hot chocolate to look forward to on the return!
Alternative Ways of Connecting
If the isolation of the pandemic has reminded us of anything, it’s just how much we rely on our relationships to get through the day. Before March last year we’d have thought nothing of arranging a day out, planned anywhere from a month to just minutes in advance. A quick hop on whatever mode of public transport and we’d be whisked away to a museum, cafe, pub, restaurant or park to hang out and enjoy good company. Then the first lockdown came in. Since then there have been lifts and tightening of restrictions, but overall there has been a significant decline in our ability to meet up with multiple people in physical locations. We’ve had to adapt to keep connected to each other; family, friends, coworkers and associates.
The question of how to adapt turned quickly to video conferencing, a tool many of us had used for brief meetings or calls with family and friends abroad. Now it became the main focus for keeping in touch closer to home. Calls were scheduled each week with family and friends, checking in on how we all were doing. As Lyndsey was in the final year of her degree lectures and workshops had to be quickly moved online, using the University’s classroom style video conferencing tool. Kitty discovered online options for fitness as many gyms and instructors moved to online platforms to host classes. There were also plays to watch on the National Theatre’s YouTube and festivals hosting live streams, all with a chat functionality to allow the audience to connect and discuss the content.
We tried many of these different activities with mixed results. Everyone is different in what they enjoy doing and how they enjoy doing it. Activities online involve a different style of interaction to a physical presence, and what we enjoy in one form doesn’t always translate to the other. The frequency of events also had a bigger impact on us than we expected. The temptation when everything is organised from your own home is then to arrange too much. You skirt close to burnout without realising it, so the need for setting screen time boundaries has become even more important. Taking a quick walk around the neighbourhood, relaxing with a book over a mug of tea or enjoying a long bath gave us respite from the screen so that we could enjoy our online interactions more.
Here are a few alternative ideas to a phone or video call that could be used to reconnect with another person. Some may seem a little gimmicky, but when you’re missing those you love it can be really nice to have another way to show that you care.
💌 Snail Mail
Kitty: Over Christmas I started sending letters to my friends with hand-decorated envelopes. I found that writing something by hand was so much more personal than just sending a text. Taking the time to handwrite a letter shows that you care, that you’ve made an extra effort and that you’ve really considered the other person.
Lyndsey: For the first time in years I made cards and envelopes to send out at Christmas. Making things is a relaxing activity for me, and it was an opportunity to think about each of the family and friends that the cards would be going to. Sometimes it’s nice to hold a physical reminder that we’re all here to support each other.
🥣 Cooking virtually
K: I did quite a few of these with work and it was a really nice way of getting to know a different side of people the people that I worked with. One person would act as the teacher and essentially teach the zoom class (everyone else) how to make a specific dish. We did a range of recipes from around the world from simple banana bread to a delicious South African milk tart.
🧘♀️ Classes
K: For me, online classes were more convenient to do and allowed me to try lots of different things that would have been only location based, which in normal life would have been difficult to get to. Classes like contortion and flexibility I’ve really stuck to certain companies like the London Dance Academy, because I’ve had face-to-face classes with them before and even though being online is a very different experience, I know I would still get the same quality of teaching. But I still miss in person classes and I can’t wait to get back to having those regularly.
L: The online exercise classes were one of those things that I didn’t connect with in the way I would have a physical class. I like the reassurance of having an instructor in the room to guide and, if necessary, intercede to prevent injury. While that option is kind of available with live sessions it’s not quite the same as having someone physically there to guide you, at least not for me.
🧵✂️ Doing hobbies together
K: I’ve definitely been burnt out by trying to move all of my hobbies online and to find various communities to facilitate what I previously had in my pre covid life. When I started doing my hobbies again I had to seriously think about the ones that gave me real joy and who I was spending my out of work on screen time with. I’m glad that Lynz and I have an understanding with this newsletter and to be able to sew different projects together without having to lug our heavy machines to each other’s place.
L: I’d been looking forward to more sewing projects with Kitty, so finding a way to do that online was amazing! We both have access to a sewing machine and many of the patterns that we use are bought as pdfs. This meant we could print our own copies to work from. Having the video screen to the side while we’re sewing means our focus is on the project at hand, but we have each other virtually close by to chat while we work or troubleshoot something in the pattern instructions. It’s been fantastic!
👾 Gaming
L: Although there were regular online gaming sessions before the lockdown, we’ve found ways to enjoy other styles of games online. For role play tabletop games (think Dungeons and Dragons) I’ve been using Roll20, a free online platform that allows game masters to create a basic setup for their games and a dice roll function for players to use. It also supports webcam and audio connections. For board games we’ve used Zoom to live stream board games or share screens for digital copies. I also have a Steam account and have been using TableTop Simulator, a game with an extensive database of digitized versions of board games. Betrayal at House on the Hill has been a firm favourite!
Overall, we’ve had some very positive experiences and there might be a place for some of these activities in a post lockdown world. We’d still much rather a physical meetup than online, but having the option means we can plan around any issues like travel problems or sudden commitments that may come up. It’s also reminded us of the importance to set boundaries to prevent burnout and to explore the best ways of staying in touch with different parts of your support network. For some it’s a weekly call, others a daily text or the occasional email. Others it’s not even words but an exchange of gifs, memes and cute animals to lift the mood of the recipient and sender. However you stay in touch the most important thing is the reminder that we are there looking out for each other.
Get Crafty
Our next project is a slightly more ambitious make. The draft has taken us 2 sessions so far and we will need another before we’ll be ready to move on to the final version. We’re happy with how it’s going so far though and here’s a little preview of what we’ve been up to.
Did you catch Kitty’s recent makes? She made the Named Utu Pinafore and Stitch Witch Bathurst Top.
Off the Shelf
Margaret Atwood’s long awaited follow up to The Handmaid’s Tale, The Testaments, gives insight to Gilead’s founding, those responsible for its development and how the corrupt regime gained a hold over those locked within it. In the decaying days of the Republic who will try to salvage and who will seek to end it?
Cool Things
A Burnout Expert’s Guide - A look at how the lockdown is impacting our work/life balance.
Humanity and Nature are Interconnected - Maïmouna Guerresi’s photographic series of spiritual journeys.
The Royal Society of Painter-Printmakers - Online exhibitions and explanations of the art behind printmaking.
Noteworthy February’s playlist - New tracks that have inspired us this month.
Outro
As we move towards spring, we’re looking forward to spending more time outside in the fresh air. We’re hoping to finish the draft of our current sewing make so we can move on to the next stage!
It’s also International Women’s day next month, a time for further reflection of the many women who have shaped and continue to shape our world. Let us know who has inspired you by replying to this email or commenting here.